Mom: “They have merlot. I want merlot!”
Sister: “It’s seven dollars.”
Me: “No, that’s only for the spirits. Wine and beer are complimentary.”
Mom: “Really are you sure?”
The thin, black-horn-rimmed glassed Japanese steward bangs his banged-up cart up the aisle. The wrinkles on his face mirror the ironed creases in his white and blue uniform. Ugged-out woman in 21J opens one eye and then closes it back again.
Mom: “Excuse me can I get some wine? Is it free?”
Steward: (Eye brows raise to a cartoon-ish height and he notes with a Japanese twang) “I think so…for you” (he decisively grabs a milk cartoon box with a quasi-fancy cursive printed “Red Merlot”)
Mom: “Oh no, I think I’d like white.”
Steward: (Eyebrows now seesawing left side up and right side down and back again) “Hmm we only got yellow…no such thing as white.”
Steward plops the red down and unscrews the musty white cap of the white wine box and pours the golden liquid into a sad transparent plastic cup.
Mom: (Sensing a joke) “You could give me pink and mix the two!”
Steward doesn’t hear/chooses to ignore and decidedly moves his eyebrows to their permanent spot 2 inches below his receding hairline. He finishes using one box and begins on the cardboard white wine carton brother.
Mom: “That’s good” (An indication that she either doesn’t need any more or that she preemptively is voicing her excitement: probably both)
Steward: “No, no, it’s a long flight. You definitely need more.” (Keeps pouring, eyebrow fixed)
Mom: “Ok. I’ll either get drunk or sleep!”
Travel anecdotes brought to you by the Gupta family.